“Ladies and gentlemen, in the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will deploy from above your seats. You will need to pull the mask down, attach it, and ensure it’s securely fitted over your nose and mouth. Remember, you must put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting anyone else, especially children or those who need help.”
If you’ve ever been on an airplane, you’ve likely heard these exact words, or a close variation of them, right before takeoff. The flight attendants must prepare the passengers for an emergency, and in doing so they instruct parents and caretakers to do something inherently opposite of what they’re used to: Prioritize their own well-being over that of their loved ones. As ‘selfish’ as it may sound, it’s the right advice, because they’re no good to anyone else in a crisis if they’re gasping for air themselves.
The “oxygen mask metaphor” should also be applied to daily life, though times are admittedly tough right now for many around the globe. That said, we must remember that taking care of ourselves is just as important as caring for the people, pets and objects we love.
On this International Self-Care Day, we examine why so many find it difficult to make time for themselves and how to overcome any challenges that prevent it, in hopes that some who read this may take it to heart ….
Why do we prioritize others over ourselves?
In researching this article, we learned there are several reasons why many neglect self-care:
Guilt
There’s a misconception that if we’re indulging, that means we’re sacrificing time that could be devoted to a loved one or neglecting a project or task that needs to be accomplished. In reality, spending time only on others or work/household chores will build resentment and potentially cause ‘burnout’, which lessens the effectiveness of the care given to those other people and activities.
Perception of Selfishness
Many people’s actions are driven by what other people think, regardless of whether or not those opinions are valid. If taking time for oneself could be seen as unnecessary by others who don’t know everything going on in said person’s life, that may unfairly deter them from taking that crucial break.
Lack of Self Worth
Some deny themselves self-care because they simply don’t feel they deserve it. They may see others who they believe are “worse off” than them, so they don’t feel as if they can justify any indulgence as a result.
Misinformation About Mental Health
If you break your leg in an accident, people will hold the door for you, perhaps also carry your bags and offer assistance when you need to get around. Many physical impairments are visible, so they generate instant sympathy. Yet when someone’s mental health is suffering, even when they are vocal about it, many won’t consider that a reason to pause or seek care, though one’s mental health is as equally important as one’s physical well-being.
How to Integrate Self-Care Into Your Life and Overcome These Obstacles
If your routine doesn’t give you any grace, you may not even know where to begin when it comes to implementing self-care activities. Or, you may think you can’t afford them (if your mind goes directly to a spa day), but that’s not true either. There are many ways to treat yourself better without spending a lot of money or taking too much time away from the current life you live and all that it entails. Here are some examples:
Start Small. Declare a specific time of day that’s designated only for you. It can be 30 minutes, or even 15 to start. But in that circle of time, decide on an activity that will calm your spirit, and commit to doing it. It could be sipping a cup of hot tea and gazing out the window. It could be lighting a candle and listening to music. It could be laying under your coziest blanket and reading a few chapters of a good book. Once that becomes a habit (as it should), add a few more minutes. You deserve this break.
Save to Splurge. If you do want to indulge in something like a massage or a spa treatment, but you can’t afford to do it just yet, that’s okay too. Set aside a little money each month until you reach your goal and then enjoy every last moment of the experience.
Write it Down. Many find journaling to be therapeutic and begin their self-care journey that way. Others may paint, create art or solve a puzzle to relax. Those are all excellent ways to take time out from the noisiness of life, and easy to sustain.
Get Spiritual. Whether you pray, meditate, practise yoga or perform breathwork, many find connecting in a spiritual way to be very calming. Do what works best for you.
Experience Nature. A hike in the woods or a walk on the beach is all it takes to give yourself a break and a good boost.
Give Thanks. There is scientific proof that expressing gratitude has tangible health benefits. Whether you’re making a list each day of what you’re thankful for, or writing notes to loved ones and colleagues to show appreciation for their support, the act of gratitude can be a simple form of self-care.
When we’re happier and more content, we’re more compassionate toward others and that creates a ripple effect of good that goes far beyond a single ritual. Even the World Health Organization agrees that self-care is essential, so there’s no time like the present, to get started.
Prioritize your peace. Get to it …
Posters of “Floating” (2010) by Julian Lennon, the photo seen above, are available for purchase at julianlennon.com.
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Thank you Julian for caring and sharing your love for others you are a terrific human and I treasure you 🙏💝
Great tips… just about to take a nice walk and see the sunset. Weather has finally adjusted here from the severe heat. Always helpful to be reminded to slow down a bit. Thank you ☺️
Excellent article. It is so true. We have to reserve part of our day to ourselves. But, there are some people, who really can’t save part of what they get because what they get is not enough. Just pointing that, although the advice is good, there are people that can’t not even eat well. Not possible to save a bit each month. But even so, and exactly because they are living this situation, they have to find something to immerse in benefit of themselves. Yes, walking in the nature is wonderful. Taking a nap. Singing! Saying thanks for what they… Read more »
Lovely to be reminded of this amidst the busyness of life. Thank you Julian and Tassoula for these thoughtful words.